shoot for the moon
Today I had to have a chat with one of my after school program kids. Apparently he had been giving attitude to his teachers and fighting some at school. Which are indeed bad things. But he is not a bad kid. Actually he is a really sweet kid. He is very smart and caring. I think he made some bad choices and I think he knows that. We had a long talk about it - and while I doubt that things will be solved from that chat - hopefully it made a tiny bit of an impact.
I get the feeling that he is going to be facing the consequences of his choices at home for a while. It worries me because kids tend to become our expectations. If we treat a kid like they are going to cause trouble and fail - they almost certainly will. But if we tell them they can do great things and act in a way that shows we believe that is true - then they most certainly will.
The problem is, we often tell kids that they can do anything - but we don't trust them to make their own choices. We tell them to shoot for the moon, but we instantly shoot them down. We tell them that God is real, but we also tell them that Santa, the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, the boogyman, and every other fantasy is real. It's no wonder that most of them wind up believing in very little - including themselves.
The question is, how can we allow our kids to shoot for the moon and help them actually make it? How do we keep them from missing? How do we keep them from falling short (cause despite the quote that says "even if we miss we will still be among the stars" it seems bad to float in space)? How do we keep them from injury?
Well, I'm quite sure I don't have the answers to those questions, but I do have a few thoughts. What is the moon? What are our kids shooting for? And why? Often, kids are shooting for things they really don't care about. They are shooting for the things we care about. Which might not be horrible if they are the right things. Are you teaching them to care about others? Are you teaching them to share the Gospel? Are you teaching them to glorify God? If those are the things they are shooting for - well they are pretty sure to find joy.
Unfortunately, most people care about money, important titles, job security, scholarships, looking good for others, etc. We have no guarantee for these things, most kids care very little about these things, and basically we force them into shooting for these things because we want them. IF they achieve these things they may or may not be happy. And then they will have to wonder all over again what to do with their life. Perhaps the reason for mid-life crises?
Ultimately our child will become their own person. Hopefully one we like, but probably not the one we try to fabricate. We cannot force them to become a certain person or do a certain thing. The best gifts we can give them are the tools that will serve them in any situation. The tools that will not fade. Faith, Hope, and Love.
I get the feeling that he is going to be facing the consequences of his choices at home for a while. It worries me because kids tend to become our expectations. If we treat a kid like they are going to cause trouble and fail - they almost certainly will. But if we tell them they can do great things and act in a way that shows we believe that is true - then they most certainly will.
The problem is, we often tell kids that they can do anything - but we don't trust them to make their own choices. We tell them to shoot for the moon, but we instantly shoot them down. We tell them that God is real, but we also tell them that Santa, the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, the boogyman, and every other fantasy is real. It's no wonder that most of them wind up believing in very little - including themselves.
The question is, how can we allow our kids to shoot for the moon and help them actually make it? How do we keep them from missing? How do we keep them from falling short (cause despite the quote that says "even if we miss we will still be among the stars" it seems bad to float in space)? How do we keep them from injury?
Well, I'm quite sure I don't have the answers to those questions, but I do have a few thoughts. What is the moon? What are our kids shooting for? And why? Often, kids are shooting for things they really don't care about. They are shooting for the things we care about. Which might not be horrible if they are the right things. Are you teaching them to care about others? Are you teaching them to share the Gospel? Are you teaching them to glorify God? If those are the things they are shooting for - well they are pretty sure to find joy.
Unfortunately, most people care about money, important titles, job security, scholarships, looking good for others, etc. We have no guarantee for these things, most kids care very little about these things, and basically we force them into shooting for these things because we want them. IF they achieve these things they may or may not be happy. And then they will have to wonder all over again what to do with their life. Perhaps the reason for mid-life crises?
Ultimately our child will become their own person. Hopefully one we like, but probably not the one we try to fabricate. We cannot force them to become a certain person or do a certain thing. The best gifts we can give them are the tools that will serve them in any situation. The tools that will not fade. Faith, Hope, and Love.
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